Reading some excellent art reference books lately have inspired me to really try to improve my art, and this dearth of drawing this year have made me decide to forego polish for substance, so I did a quick, loose practice sketch yesterday:

The character is Hawkeye from Seiken Densetsu 3, a game that followed Secret of Mana for the Super Nintendo in Japan that was never released here.

As this type of drawing can be done in the baby’s very brief daytime naps, and given what I consider the success of this sketch, I’m hoping to start doing more of these.  It’s quite refreshing not needing to make every stroke perfect.

As for other productivity over the past several months, I am at work editing my novel Halcyon for publication hopefully next spring.  Major edits are complete and I’ve started work on the cover art while waiting for feedback from a few preliminary readers.  Don’t really have much to show for it at the moment, but the current plan is to attend a few conventions next year.

In the meantime, I have a four-month-old to take care of.

Finally, due in large part to a promotion by fantasy/scifi publisher Tor which allowed me to download many free ebooks, I began to get into the genre.  I still wouldn’t consider myself well-read – I’ve read an average of about 21 books per year since I first got into said promotion – but now I recognize many or most of the names on bookstore shelves, and I feel like my reading experience is more or less representative of the genre, rather than a few random selections encountered by chance.

After reading this many books, I have become a somewhat more discerning reader.  I still struggle with abandoning a book which I have already invested time in, but I will give up on a book I am thoroughly not enjoying.  I have read enough very good fantasy/scifi that I am a little pickier about things I didn’t enjoy in a book than I used to be.

I first started posting reviews of books I read online just to share and spread the word about books I enjoyed, though I continued with my reviews because it seemed a convenient way to keep track of what books I’d read for my own benefit.  This has resulted, of course, in some less than favourable reviews.  I don’t really like to post unkind reviews, and I try not to fault the author and be specific about what it was I didn’t like – as, being an author myself, I know how an unsavoury review can hurt – but I am simply being honest in what I thought about the book.

This is an even more bitter pill to swallow with independent authors.  I am honest to a fault; I cannot say I enjoyed something if I didn’t.  And I don’t want to skip reviewing a book just because I don’t want to give it a bad review.  Yet, because I support independent authors – and, again, am one myself – a part of me feels uncomfortable with publicly posting an unfavourable review for an independent novel.

Another dilemma comes from the fact that my tastes seem to differ from many others.  I’ve looked up a number of books I’ve read on Amazon.com to find nothing but glowing reviews when I personally didn’t enjoy the book very much. (This isn’t exclusive to books, and it’s not a recent phenomenon; I’ve had to develop a thicker skin for the things I enjoy, and don’t, or otherwise not mention it at all.)

Part of me thinks that if I’m going to post these reviews publicly to my journal, that I should share them elsewhere, such as on Amazon.com.  Perhaps other people feel the same way that I do, different from the norm, and the added exposure might help garner more interest in my own works.  And besides, I never claimed to be an expert.  I have always stated that this is just my opinion of the books I read, and I fully allow others to disagree with me.

Another part of me, however, is worried about what negative comments might come of me posting, honestly, a number of unfavourable reviews, even to books that have received nothing but five-star ratings otherwise.  Will I come off as mean, elitist, or know-it-all?  Or, worse, will this open me up to harsh reviews of my own work, those reading my honest reviews feeling that I can withstand or even deserve such critical words on my writing?  I want honest opinions of my own work, true, but I have in the past received some nasty retribution for leaving critical comments on others’ work, even though I always try to put a positive spin on it, knowing what I appreciate in critique.

I hesitated to post my latest book review publicly on my personal journal, simply because it was less favourable, and particularly to an independent author.  Is this just the price of making my opinions known and must I accept possible repercussions or hurt feelings as a result of sharing them?  Or should I just quietly keep my thoughts to myself and only publicly laud those books I thoroughly enjoyed?

I am not an outgoing person, I don’t like to make people uncomfortable, and I really don’t have a thick skin.  Sharing unfavourable reviews may involve a bit of a personality shift.

It’s not an easy decision to make.

Originally drawn a couple years ago, inspired by this drawing, Heritage House “Yesterday” musical carousel horse, and classic My Little Pony art, dedicated to K. Healey of Letraset for his excellent customer service.

Playing with markers.  November from the catgirl calendars I used to do.

Also, I’ve gotten some more wonderful fan art for Aurius:

Astute viewers might have noticed a shift in my art production recently.  Due to the fact that I’ve had some problems looking at screens lately and that a number of my markers have dried up – in addition to an honest interest in other media – I’ve spent some time experimenting with different types of art lately.

In that vein, when we were informed of a building-wide six-hour power outage today to replace a main electrical switch, I decided to break out my long-unused acrylics.  This was painted from a photo I took at Pedernales Falls state park in central Texas.

Oil pastel drawing done last Thursday.

Also, a quick note to say that some minor updates were made to the Characters and Fan Works pages for Aurius.  Links were added to current character art on the Characters page, including one sketch that never made it here before:

And two other drawings were added to the Fan Works page:

My only instruction was a very simple YouTube video.  As such, my technique, as well as the time taken to grind the ink, needs work, but further practice and instruction should yield better results.  I really love the simplicity of sumi-e and am looking forward to trying it again.

–

She saw Janet step out of a storefront, her highlighted blonde hair visibly limp against her scalp even from half a block away. That was probably just the result of a long day of work, Beverly thought, as her own raven hair was tied up into a quick and messy tail after a full day at the bakery.

Beverly held up her hand as she threaded between people. “Janet!” Janet glanced over at the call and smiled as Beverly trotted up to her.

“Hey,” Janet greeted as Beverly fell into step beside her and they strode down the sidewalk.

“Well?” Beverly prompted eagerly, brimming with anticipation. “How did it go last night?”

Janet made a face and rolled her eyes. “I don’t even want to talk about it.”

Deflated, Beverly offered a sympathetic noise. “That bad?”

Janet let out a disgusted sigh. “He spent the entire night trying to touch or grab me. I actually had to tell him to back off.”

“Oh, jeez.” Beverly frowned up at Janet, the blonde woman still a few inches taller than her, even in her heels. “Wasn’t this the guy Melina knew?”

“No, it was someone her boyfriend knew.” Janet shook her head. “I swear, I have just about had it with guys.”

“Aw, don’t say that,” Beverly attempted, bumping her elbow against Janet’s. “There are a lot of great guys out there.”

Janet flashed her a wry smile. “Not everyone can be as lucky as you to find your soulmate on your first try.” Beverly half smiled, feeling uncomfortably ashamed of her luck in meeting her longtime boyfriend. She fell silent, glancing around.

As her gaze swung past a fenced-in park on the other side of the street, she turned back to Janet and stated, “Hey, let’s go to Starbucks.”

Janet shrugged, glancing briefly at her watch. “Okay.” Watching for a break in the traffic, the two darted across the street and joined the path winding through the wooded park. She shook her head again. “I just wish I could meet a decent guy who actually cares about having a girlfriend, rather than a one-night stand.”

Beverly frowned. “They haven’t all been that bad. What about Kyle?”

Janet frowned. “Alright, a decent guy who I have something in common with.” She paused as they came across a bronze statue flanking the path. A man with ruggedly good looks leaned forward, his arms outstretched as though to feel rain falling on his palms. His head leaned back with his curly hair swept away from his face and his mouth was parted slightly, enhancing the image. He was dressed in a wide-sleeved shirt buttoned to the collarbone, a vest, and pants tucked into folded-over boots, and the date on the base of the statue was from the 19th century.

Janet chuckled faintly. “Now, why I can’t meet a guy like this?”

Beverly giggled. “Come on, he was probably a pirate. Look at those clothes. All he needs is an eyepatch.”

Janet’s laughter grew. “Yeah, but look at his face. He has ambition, he wants to do something with his life.”

“Like pillage and plunder?”

“I’m serious!” Janet chided, bumping Beverly with her elbow before returning her gaze to the statue. “If a guy ever looked at me like that…” She sighed wistfully.

Beverly murmured, her gaze fixed on the blank eyes of the statue as well. “I guess so. He’s even beckoning you.” Janet chuckled again, and Beverly smiled, pleased with the reaction. “So? Are you going to go to your dream guy?” Janet laughed aloud as Beverly dug in her purse and pulled out the palm-sized camera she took everywhere. “Shall I take a picture of the happy couple?” Janet shook her head as she laughed. “Come on,” Beverly urged, waving the camera around meaningfully, “let him sweep you off your feet!”

Still laughing, Janet said, “Oh, why not? I won’t get a real guy to do it anytime soon, I might as well take what I can get.” Beverly giggled behind her hand as Janet climbed up onto the statue, swinging her legs over one reaching arm and leaning into the other, as though he carried her. His hands even seemed to fold up just enough to cradle her perfectly.

Grinning widely, Beverly held up the camera, centering the image of Janet in the statue’s arms in the LCD screen. “Say cheese!” The camera beeped and the screen went black for a moment as the picture recorded, and Beverly lowered her hand. She started with a gasp and dropped the camera. Its case snapped and the batteries tumbled onto the sidewalk as it crashed into the cement.

Frozen, Beverly didn’t even notice the breaking camera. Her breath was ragged and she blinked wide eyes rapidly, hoping every time she opened them that what she saw wasn’t real. Her knees turned to water as she took a few uneasy steps forward. “J… Janet?” Beverly raised a trembling hand, paused, then tentatively reached out and touched her fingertips to the bronze locks of Janet’s hair. She was utterly immobile the way only a statue could be, frozen in time with one leg stretched out over the statue’s arm, her hands around his neck, and a permanent smile carved into her face. Her skin and clothes even sported the same weathered patina of the original statue.

Beverly’s breath came out in ever hastening gasps, and her voice grew smaller. “Janet?” She ran her hand more firmly over her friend’s arm, but the metal was cool to the touch and entirely inanimate. Frantic, she stumbled back a few paces and glanced in either direction down the path, but the park was unoccupied. She knew she should call for help, but her voice failed her. The statue dragged her eyes back for another long moment. Desperately, she turned and fled, bolting down the path back the way they had come as fast as her feet would carry her, leaving her fallen camera behind.

In mid-February, due to the timeline I had for finishing it, I switched gears almost entirely to work on the cover for Ruins of Change. It was both art, which I struggle with at the best of times and hadn’t worked on in months, and very ambitious, making the going slow. Eventually, that momentum built on itself as well and by the time I got to painting the character, I was getting fairly good at actually putting the time in on it every day. And, of course, I enjoyed working on art so much that I immediately began work on “At Long Last,” which I started right after finishing Ruins of Change.

Unfortunately, writing very much took a back seat during this time, if not was simply left behind on the curb. I tried to work some writing time into my daily schedule, but between focusing on art and getting held up on a challenging scene, for the most part it just didn’t happen.

More unfortunately still, now that I’m ready to really devote some attention to Ghost’s Reflection again, I’m finding that earlier momentum is not something that comes naturally to me. Writing does get intimidating for me, especially when I get deep into a story like I am with this one. I keep trying to get back to the story, but making myself just sit down and write is not so easy.

What would be easy? Focusing instead on finishing more older drawings, which admitedly is something I would like to do. But I would like to get a first draft – of this third draft – finished by this summer, ideally with some time left over to do some editing. Considering the pace I was able to write earlier in the year, I don’t think that’s an unreasonable goal, but it does mean I have to actually start writing again. And it seems that my productivity and creativity tend to get stuck on a particular medium, which is currently art.

Today, I finally managed to make myself sit down and write, and have added over 2,000 words to the story so far. Not everything I write has to be phenomenal, and not all of what I have so far is, but once it’s there, I can go back and clean it up later.  Starting tomorrow, I think I will try to split my working hours between working on art and writing, since I do want to get work done on both.  My word count for the month will still be dismal, but at least I have gotten started again.

As long as I can start building momentum again, I can continue writing. I just need to retrain myself to get in that mood again. And the only way I’m going to do that is to write.