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What am I? January 20, 2015

Posted by thejinx in writing.
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I’ve written before about the many hobbies I dabble in, or have done before and would still like to do again (reading, drawing, sculpture, jewelry making, learning guitar, etc.). It was enough to inspire a fleeting wish that I could say, “this month I’m going to do nothing but read.” And yes, I have little doubt that I could focus on a different task for each month of this year.

Many of these hobbies have fallen by the wayside in the past few months, if not already in the past few years. Aside from accessories for my daughter’s Halloween costume, I haven’t touched my jewelry-making supplies in months. Likewise for the last console RPG I was playing, despite that I was almost at the end and spent at least half of 2014 working on it. Obviously, 2-dimensional art is still only a very occasional dabble, despite how important that remains to me. I know things will change when my daughter starts going to school next fall, but I am not raising my expectations too high about the difference that will make with my available time.

As for reading, while I would dearly love to get through the books on my to-read list and then some, not to mention the couple dozen samples and complete books I have downloaded on Kindle, my life is hardly without words. I read blog posts and webcomics on a daily basis, and I have been editing novel submissions. It’s not the same, of course, but it’s enough.

However, there is one hobby that stands out among all of these. One that holds more sway over me than any other, one that I just can’t go too long without doing, one that I miss if I try. One that defines me.

Writing.

Even after all these years, I’m still learning how important writing is to me. I’ve written here before about it, about how I feel unsure of my skill in just about every endeavour I have attempted but not with writing, about how my opinion changed from thinking about myself as an artist first and a writer second, and more.

But I still forget. I go without for a little while, maybe I spend some time focusing on a project in another medium, and I let writing slip to the back burner. At least, until my mind reminds me that I have to create, and if I don’t get back to work on the story I have been writing, I will spend my showers, mealtimes, or other quiet moments having imaginary arguments between fictional characters over the pros and cons of a completely made-up interstellar political system.

… I will neither confirm nor deny that this is the exact thing which inspired this post. The fact remains that I have to write. I can’t not write. Even if my family and my business take up most of my free time, even if I feel too burned out to want to do anything but veg when I do have time to do it, even if I’m struggling with a scene or am enamoured with some other form of expression or life just gets too busy, I have to find time to fit writing in somewhere.

Because I am a writer.

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1. writingbolt - January 20, 2015

Writing seems like the safest hobby as long as your manuscript doesn’t get erased or splashed with some liquid or ooze. I guess no hobby is entirely safe from living. And, I too put a lot on the back burner. You are juggling too much, I think. Too much for me, anyway. I get overwhelmed fairly easily. As much as I’d like a pet, I don’t want to care for one alone and would probably count one as a child rather than have kids:P Though, I did dream once of having two kids and a variety of pets.

I, too, went from thinking of myself as an artist to seeing the writing side of me. But, if I EVER found myself unable to happily draw something, I’d feel like Kevin Klein in that movie about the gay pianist who lost his leg and couldn’t press the piano pedals. I still struggle to draw to my expectations. And, as good as I am at writing, I feel as weak with my writing as I am my drawing. Except, I can fix my writing much easier than I can fix my drawing. And, I can peck away at my writing all I want as long as I can still view it…or, I guess, until It’s published.

I didn’t start writing until I graduated high school. I’ve been drawing since I was five. I still haven’t finished the novel/series I started writing at the age of eighteen. I keep caving and saying I wish I had a co-writer/assistance. I’ve recently completed a few books, though. But, I am still looking to complete that “opus” that will make me proud of my writing.


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